OK people...you asked for it. Some of you begged. Many of you pleaded. Today, I'm talking about how I get my kids to nap.
Let me be clear...this is not for everyone. This post is for the moms who have emailed me specifically about getting their kids to nap. If your kids aren't nappers, that's awesome! I'm not saying your kids need to nap, I'm just explaining to those that care (and apparently, there are a lot of you) how I get my kids to nap.
Let me also make this disclaimer...I am not a parenting expert. You will NEVER read a post by me about potty training, breast feeding, or getting my kids to eat their vegetables. I struggle with a lot of mom things...my kids can be super bratty and ridiculous at times, I am surviving day after day just like all of you. That being said...my kids do take long and consistent naps, so I must be doing something right in that department.
Take a look...
...my kids know how to sleep.
First, let's talk about Smith. Smith is a freak of nature. Smith has a God-given ability to sleep anywhere at the drop of a hat. Smith looooooves going to sleep. We can be in the car and he will actually say, "I think I'm going to take a nap now" and he'll close his eyes and just go to sleep. He was sleeping 12 hours in a row beginning at 7 weeks (and still does to this day) and today...at 4 years old, he takes a 4 hour nap every day. Yes. He lays down in his bed at 1:00 and I wake him up at 5:00. Freak of nature. Thank God for Smith. (If I would have had him first, I would have thought Kensington was a nightmare!)
So, I'm not going to talk to you about Smith...because honestly, I have no idea why/how he loves to sleep as much as he does. Today, I'm going to talk about Kensington. This child...I taught how to sleep.
Back when Kensington was this age...
3. Do they nap at school?
This is the first year that Kensington's class doesn't nap during the day but up until this year, she always napped on her nap mat at school (and Smith still does it today). They only get an hour but they both sleep. So, on these two days a week, their naps are shorter but that's fine with me. I just want them rested...and this seems to do the trick.
4. How do I make my older kids nap?
You're going to think I'm lying...but Smith will say to me almost every day after lunch, "is it time for me to nap yet?". Yes. Freak of nature. So, I never, ever, ever have problems with him...Kensington on the other hand is just used to the routine and expects that she'll need to rest every day. If she gets out of bed (at night or when she naps), I simply say, "go back to bed". If on the off chance she doesn't listen or disobeys...well then the bigger problem here is that she's not obeying and that's a behavior problem (now that she's 5 and completely understands what I'm saying and the rules of our house), so we handle that like we would handle any other behavior problems...they need to listen and obey our instructions. (Again, I'm not being unreasonable...at this point, she doesn't nap every day...only when she's a hot mess and completely exhausted...and only rest can cure that! And she needs to stay in bed when we put her down at night too...that's not the time for her to get up 4,000 times as a stall tactic.)
Listen...you ladies asked me what I do...and this is it. I show my kids a lot of grace and there are many exceptions. This is just the normal routine...I'm with my kiddos 24/7...I know them really well, if I think they don't feel well, something is wrong, or if it's a super fun day and we just want to play instead of napping...then we don't nap. This is for the average day (but I always love peppering in crazy/fun/special days too!). I am not a drill sergeant...there are many exceptions to this. This is just the normal. When moms email me (all the time by the way) and ask me about napping, I always say the same things...consistency and routine. Some kids and parents don't need napping to be a part of their daily routine...and that's completely fine! This post is for all of those moms who email saying they're dying for their kids to nap, they need their kids to nap, their kids need naps, everyone is cranky and no one is sleeping...this post is for those moms.
XOXO
First, let's talk about Smith. Smith is a freak of nature. Smith has a God-given ability to sleep anywhere at the drop of a hat. Smith looooooves going to sleep. We can be in the car and he will actually say, "I think I'm going to take a nap now" and he'll close his eyes and just go to sleep. He was sleeping 12 hours in a row beginning at 7 weeks (and still does to this day) and today...at 4 years old, he takes a 4 hour nap every day. Yes. He lays down in his bed at 1:00 and I wake him up at 5:00. Freak of nature. Thank God for Smith. (If I would have had him first, I would have thought Kensington was a nightmare!)
So, I'm not going to talk to you about Smith...because honestly, I have no idea why/how he loves to sleep as much as he does. Today, I'm going to talk about Kensington. This child...I taught how to sleep.
Back when Kensington was this age...
...this is 10 month old Kensington :)...
...it was July 2009 and I was pregnant with Smith. I was pregnant and therefore feeling awful 24/7 and we were just surviving every day. She would go to bed at a descent hour and sleep 12 hours every night, but during the day, she would lay down for like an hour and then I would hear her, get her up and she would be fussy two hours later. I would lay her down again and she'd sleep for a bit but there was no consistency. She kind of mini-napped all day. And then if she was not at home, she wouldn't nap at all...she would just be fussy. There was no rhyme or reason to her napping.
Then one day, we went over to Angela's house with a bunch of other moms. My friend Whitney (who had two kids at the time and now is about to have five!) said I had to make her a napper before this new baby came. She said it was my responsibility to make this kid a good napper...it wasn't going to happen on its own (this was before Whitney ever met Smith...).
I went home that day with a mission...Kensington was going to be a good napper. And you know what, she turned into one! I just had to do a few things...
1. Be consistent!
This was a big part of my problem. I just wasn't consistent. I decided that the best time for her to nap for me was 1:30. This gave us plenty of time to do stuff in the morning, have lunch, play and then nap during the afternoon. I picked that time and to this day, we stick with it. Every day at 1:30, I would lay her down in her crib. I didn't care if she looked tired or not...that was her nap time. (And now that she's 5, at 1:30, she automatically goes into rest mode where she has some downtime).
2. Create the same routine
I decided to create a routine that we would do every day before naps and every night before bed. This kind of routine always let her know what was coming and got her to settle down. For us, we would turn on the TV and let her lie on the floor on a pillow with a little water in a sippy cup and her favorite blanket and watch one episode of Mickey Mouse.
At first, she didn't want to lie down, so I would lie there with her and insist she stay still and watch TV (and since the TV wasn't on much during the day, it was fun to have it on and really caught her attention...you could also sit and read a book instead!). When her little show was over, I would immediately take her to bed. We turned on her sound machine (that's more for me...I don't like whispering on the phone while my kids are napping, so a little sound muffles my talking). I also kept her room really dark and the door shut to create a space that would really encourage sleep. It didn't take long before she knew that as soon as Mickey Mouse's Hot Dog song started playing, she needed to go to sleep. The routine encouraged her sleepiness.
3. Ignore them!
Eeks! Please don't send me hate mail. I beg you. This worked, my kids survived, CPS wasn't called out, and everyone was rested. I just had to ignore her. She had eaten lunch, she had a new diaper on, I had a baby monitor to watch her...she was fine. I had to start ignoring her until she got the message that this was her down time...her time to rest. I decided two hours was our goal. So, I would lay her down at 1:30 and would not open her door until 3:30 (if she continued to sleep, I wouldn't open her door until she awoke). These babies are so smart! They know that if they cry and you come in there to check on them, cuddle them, give them their paci, etc, that you'll do it every time. I couldn't let her win at that game. Ignore.
These are my 3 big tips that really turned Kensington into quite the sleeper! It wasn't long before she was napping every day from 1:30 until 4:00. And to this very day, at 1:30, we have "rest time". Now that she's 5, I don't make her nap but at 1:30, she does some sort of quiet project, plays ABC Mouse, does puzzles, colors, etc. It's still her down time.
What to do when they're older and start getting out of bed?
When Kensington was 19 months old...
...she started crawling out of her crib. Awesome. (And that's 3 month old Smith...my babies got big so fast!!)
We moved Kensington to a big girl bed (a full sized bed) at 19 months old and said a prayer. She was such a good sleeper at this point, and I was really afraid this would throw her off schedule.
The first two months she did fabulous...but then, she started getting out of bed about 20 minutes after we put her to down (for both naps and at night). I read online and the "experts" said the best thing to do is not speak to them, just sweetly take their hand and lead them back to bed. But never talk to them, lie down with them, answer their questions, etc. So, Andrew and I did this for about a week...just walked her back to bed (sometimes we did it at least a dozen times in one night or during nap time) but eventually, she stopped getting out of bed...and that phase was over. They're just looking to engage you...and you can't play that game.
How do you get them to sleep while traveling?
The fact that he's in Russia at the time...probably has something to do with him being tired. Can we say jet lag?
Nevertheless, my kiddos do sleep places other than their beds. At my mom's house, they each sleep by themselves in separate bedrooms away from my parents (alone with the door shut) and they love it! They sleep in hotel rooms, on airplanes, in the car and so many times...in their strollers. I really think that they sleep well everywhere else because they've just learned how to unwind, settle down and rest (which was taught to them at home). I'm not sure that they would sleep well everywhere else if I hadn't of trained them to sleep well at home first. This is just my theory...
I know you have questions...let me try and answer them...
I'm going to guess some of your questions in advance...
1. How do they fall asleep at night if they sleep so much during the day?
I think that babies and toddlers just require a lot of sleep. I'm not making them nap during the day and then letting them stay up until midnight in the evenings...they're napping and then going to bed around the same time each night (always between 7:30 and 8:00). Around five, we noticed that Kensington went to sleep much faster at night if she didn't take a nap. We also noticed that her naps were much shorter during the day, so we cut them out (unless she is super sensitive/tired/cranky that day...then she has to take one). Whatever the age is for your kid, I think you'll know...they just kind of drop their naps altogether. Smith will probably nap until the day before he starts kindergarten...
2. What if you're out during the day and your kids can't nap, do they fall apart?
No. On Saturdays, we are typically really busy and they don't nap. Smith will sometimes nap in the car or something but he's not cranky (probably because he's so well-rested that he doesn't need to be cranky). When they were much younger, I just made sure we were home for their naps (even on weekends). Now that they're 4 and 5, they can miss one and be fine.3. Do they nap at school?
This is the first year that Kensington's class doesn't nap during the day but up until this year, she always napped on her nap mat at school (and Smith still does it today). They only get an hour but they both sleep. So, on these two days a week, their naps are shorter but that's fine with me. I just want them rested...and this seems to do the trick.
4. How do I make my older kids nap?
You're going to think I'm lying...but Smith will say to me almost every day after lunch, "is it time for me to nap yet?". Yes. Freak of nature. So, I never, ever, ever have problems with him...Kensington on the other hand is just used to the routine and expects that she'll need to rest every day. If she gets out of bed (at night or when she naps), I simply say, "go back to bed". If on the off chance she doesn't listen or disobeys...well then the bigger problem here is that she's not obeying and that's a behavior problem (now that she's 5 and completely understands what I'm saying and the rules of our house), so we handle that like we would handle any other behavior problems...they need to listen and obey our instructions. (Again, I'm not being unreasonable...at this point, she doesn't nap every day...only when she's a hot mess and completely exhausted...and only rest can cure that! And she needs to stay in bed when we put her down at night too...that's not the time for her to get up 4,000 times as a stall tactic.)
Listen...you ladies asked me what I do...and this is it. I show my kids a lot of grace and there are many exceptions. This is just the normal routine...I'm with my kiddos 24/7...I know them really well, if I think they don't feel well, something is wrong, or if it's a super fun day and we just want to play instead of napping...then we don't nap. This is for the average day (but I always love peppering in crazy/fun/special days too!). I am not a drill sergeant...there are many exceptions to this. This is just the normal. When moms email me (all the time by the way) and ask me about napping, I always say the same things...consistency and routine. Some kids and parents don't need napping to be a part of their daily routine...and that's completely fine! This post is for all of those moms who email saying they're dying for their kids to nap, they need their kids to nap, their kids need naps, everyone is cranky and no one is sleeping...this post is for those moms.
I hope I've helped some of you out there! I always love input on my Fifty Two Shades of Shay series and trust me...you ladies have been asking for this post for months and months. Coming up in the next few weeks on Fifty Two Shades of Shay...
An Organized Gym Bag
My Skincare Routine
How to be a Morning Person
Girlfriends
Marriage
Moving
Pregnancy
And tonight for dinner...
...my yummy Orange Marmalade Chicken Sandwiches!
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