I was telling someone no the other day when it dawned on me, this is totally a Shade of Shay.
Hi. My name is Shay. And I just say no. A lot. And never feel guilty. Ever.
I think I learned this from my parents. My parents are really social and involved people. They both own their own businesses, they're both active in their church, involved in ministries, they're in a dinner club, have tons of friends...but they never seem super busy or overwhelmed. Growing up, I watched them spend a lot of time doing a lot of great things and then often declining other things. And from watching them, I learned that it's totally ok to say no.
As a woman, I think we're asked a lot to do things. Maybe we're asked to watch someone else's kids, make a meal for someone, be room mom, be copy mom, be on this committee or that committee, sign up here, sign up there, donate this, donate that...we're always asked to do stuff...and I think it's ok to say no sometimes.
I say no for two reasons. The first reason is that I don't want to stress myself out and use my time and energy on things that take me away from my family. If what you're asking me to do will leave my kids with a sitter or a stressed out mama, then I probably should say no.
I also say no because when I do say yes, I want to make sure I can devote all of my time and attention to what I've agreed to do. I don't want to be spread out too thin...instead, I want to be able to really commit to things and pour my whole self into it. If I'm already spread too thin, everyone suffers.
You could come up with some creative excuses...
...but I prefer this...
It's amazing how many times I fret about telling someone no and then when I do, they act like it's absolutely no big deal and I always think...geez, that was simple. Often little explanation is needed, just a polite no thank you.
I get asked a lot why I don't seem frantic, crazy, stressed and such. People ask why my house doesn't look chaotic and unorganized and I will say, a big part of that is that I really try and not over-commit.
(Side note, sometimes things are crazy...just Friday, Erika called and I told her I wanted to get into the fetal position and stay there in my sweats all day!)
So, that's my simple little Shade of Shay today...ladies, just say no sometimes. You will be amazed at how good it feels to relieve yourself of unnecessary pressure, your friends and family will still love you, the world will still go round, life will go on and you will be super happy. Sometimes, you just have to say no.
But something you don't want to say no to? My dinner tonight!
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